There is just so much I want to tell myself, that I forget what to say. I want to tell myself, to buckle down and leave with a level head; yet at the same time, I want to go out and be young and be reckless —again!
With this being said, I need to remember where I’m coming from, where I was, and where I want to be. I’ve already done things I already thought I’d never do, and loved every moment of it. Now, I feel as if I’m getting that second chance I’ve been waiting to get. I just hope I don’t screw it up. This is the reason why I keep telling myself I need to go to New York with a level head.
San Francisco was the time of my life, and I miss it every day. No city can ever replace San Francisco in my heart.
“Hold me responsible
It’s all my fault I want you to hold me anyway you can
Hold me accountable
It’s all my fault I want you to hold me anyway you can”
— Responsible by, Sara Bareilles
I don’t think I could ever be depressed; even if I wanted to be. I make myself laugh, way too much. I’ve always told myself that I’d always have myself. I’ve proven myself, over and over again that I am. As much as I want my friends to be there for me, I won’t let them. I guess, it’s trust issues I have with myself. But, this brings me to my point, I cheer myself up.
- willing to listen to your problems
- there for you 24/7
- is down for anything
- who helps you with your problems
- who has your back
- loyal
- cheers you up when you’re down
- willing to stay.
(Source: ohshitjay, via tired-et-uninspired)
Expectation vs. reality. What a cruel joke, god played us there.
It’s crazy to think, about all the rules you set for yourself, and how you keep away from certain things. But, then, that one person comes along and changes everything! All of a sudden, they’re the exception. I guess, if things work out, it’ll be awesome, but if things don’t work out… you’ll just feel horrible. You remind yourself, why you had those rules in the first place —to protect yourself from feeling like that.
When things are perfect, your expectations run wild. You can only expect it to get better and better. Then reality comes along, and bitch slaps you, like the little punk you are! It’s those moments when I just want to stay in my room and let time pass me by.
I guess, where I’m coming from all this is… I just need time for myself to gather my thoughts and sort out my feelings. I need to remember the person I was in San Francisco, and get myself ready for New York City. I don’t understand how I let all these feelings get in the way. And that is just what they did, get in the way.
Whenever I listen to dubstep, I just want to roll a fucking fatty and bump that shit. Oh dubstep… you bring out the worst in me. Which, is pretty hard to do, I’m pretty bad!
I just watched an amazing documentary on Canada, called “Escape to Canada.” It was about the decisions the Canadian government made to legalize gay marriage, and the struggles they have had with the whole legalizing marijuana. It also dealt with how Canada is trying to create their own identity away from America, and the movie also talked about how the Canadian government choose not to invade Iraq with the United States.
Anyways, enough movie review and to my point, I was watching the documentary and wanting to move to Canada. I mean I’ve always wanted to live there for the longest time, but watching this movie made me envious of the people who are Canadian! For one (a lot of people are going to hate me for saying this, but I can give two shits!) I hate being American. Its a rich mans fantasy land. The rich keep getting richer, they have all the power, they’ve corrupted our government, they keep feeding the public their bullshit, and the worst part is no one is doing anything about it! Not to mention all the bible preaching assholes who hate ever one but themselves, who are denying people their rights for being the person they are!
The list can go on and on. All this pisses me off, and I’m embarrass to say I’m an American! All this has made me want to move to Canada even more. But… when I really think about it, if I leave, I’ll feel like I’ve run away and I’m turning my back on the millions of American’s who need help. Help to stand up to the bullies! The bullies who use their money to get what they want, the bullies who gave people homes just to take them from them, the bullies who create something out of nothing (“derivative?”) just to get richer!
I want to do something to change it all. I want to stand up for people, and I want to lead an example so American finally stand up and put an end to all this! This is after all, “The Land of the Free.” I want to make a difference! And I’m not leaving this country till I am proud to be an American!
I know I have not posted in a long time. Thats not only a promise broken to all my followers, (all 38 of you) but a huge promises broken to myself. I should be doing what I love and doing it often. Writing calms me, and is the only way I can truly express what I am feeling.
Anyways, what I am really feeling at the moment is the whole Japan issues. People are going to hate me for this, but, I can care less for that. I mean, I feel this is one of the consequence-we-the human population, have to deal with for over populating the world. No other animal has populated the world as much as people have. How can we not expect us to be dying of in numbers of thousands? I believe nature is trying to take back control of what is rightfully hers. Maybe if we treated the Earth as a living being, instead of an inanimate objects we live on, then just maybe so fewer less people would be dying of natural disasters.
“The thing I cherish the most is time… it keeps moving me forward, even when I just want to stay still!” — Anthony Morales
“Keeps the lid closed while the noodles are heating up. As the temperature rises, Cupman will turn completely white, letting you know three minutes have elapsed.”
How cool is this?!
O__O. SO MUCH COOLER THAN CHOPSTICKS.